Look at the shoes.

by Coco on May 16, 2012

The end of the school year, when you REALLY have a kid in school, is super busy.

Teacher appreciation week.

Dance recitals.

Tennis lessons.

Splash day.

Pre-K graduation.

Relay day.

Etc.

And somehow, I am always roped into volunteering one way or another.  Me.  The person who usually has NO problem telling somebody how I feel about doing something or not doing something.  I can’t say no when it comes to volunteering.

So much so, that I just got effing roped into being secretary of the PTO for Bram’s school. 

Mother effer.

I’m assuming this doesn’t involve any math.  If it does, I will be fired from this volunteer position quicker than you can say, “thanksgiving feast!”

Anyhoo, I have to say, this year has been a huge success.  I adored Bram’s teacher, who really understood and appreciated his “energy” and “spontaneity.”  Let’s just hope his first grade teacher feels the same.

Dance recital time:

It was precious and fun and Tessie Mayes danced her little heart out!

Now, please take note to the black Converse the sweet angel bebe has on.

Sister girl would NOT wear those shoes.  She REFUSED to wear them during the first 2 dress rehearsals, I was secretly hoping that she would slip in her socks and bust her ass but she did fine in the socks.  Just fine.  So I had to go to plan B.

I promised/threatened the following:

money

new shoes

new baby doll

more money

new bikini

threatened to take all her softies away

possible spanking (which would of ended in disaster because she would of ended up on stage hysterical and I would of felt like shit.)

NOTHING worked.

Until I promised a pedicure.  A real life, like Mommy pedicure.  Not just a polish like she normally gets while I am getting my nails and toes did. 

No ma’am.  Sister wanted a full on rub down.

$30 later, her feet and fingers were happy.

AND she was dancing on that stage with her black Converse and old school athletic socks on.

The problem we now face is, she won’t take the  freaking shoes OFF.

Sundress + black Converse

Juicy hot pink romper + black Converse

Matilda Jane ruffled dress + black Converse

100 degrees in Texas + black Converse

Seriously.

Happy last weeks of school!!!

{ 2 comments }

OMG!

by Coco on May 2, 2012

Guess who just announced a big concert tour?

J Lo and Enrique.

And I’m hoping for a guest appearance by Pitbull as well.

I am a secret, hard core Enrique fan. LOVE.

Does anyone want to join in on the fun?

I will warn you that there might be some Zumba moves busted out.  Like entire routines.  

So be sure to dress in work out gear instead of sexy concert attire, because once you see my mad skills, you will be doing some Zumba

But it will be like a most fun workout ever.

So, you’re welcome.

{ 4 comments }

Nervous.

May 1, 2012

On the way to school today, Tessie Mayes was “reading” her Bible. I was terrified the car was going to explode. We must get back into the habit of church.  Stat.

Read the full article →

Tonight is the night I might be discovered. For real this time.

April 18, 2012

Tonight I am going to a cooking class. The instructor is an actor, Chris Maher: I totally recognize him.  He has been in a shit ton of movies and television shows.  He is what one would call a “character actor.”  Mr. Maher is also a chef and restauranteur.  A friend of mine once worked for [...]

Read the full article →

Facebook bullshit. by Coco

April 9, 2012

I think I’m back to blogging.  This is supposed to be for my kids and I feel like I have neglected updating them on their lives and their mom that may have a few mental issues. So I will be blogging at LEAST three times a week.  Not that anyone cares, I just am saying [...]

Read the full article →

Sers?

February 21, 2012

If she’s a size 0, then I am an Indian princess that gave birth to two chinchilla babies that poop rice krispy treats, rides a unicorn to work every morning while wearing head to toe Halston on the daily and sings with a voice like the late Whitney: And bitch is totally disrespectin’ the $14,ooo.oo Hermes Birkin bag.  [...]

Read the full article →

Not meaning to toot my own horn, but…..

February 9, 2012

I looked better than this A DAY after giving birth, much less a month: With that said, I am just kind of annoyed how they keep talking about how “AMAZING” and “AWESOME” and “SKINNY”  Beyonce looks here.  Because let’s get real.  Most of us moms do not feel like hitting the town when we have [...]

Read the full article →

This is going to get me in trouble.

February 3, 2012

I am obsessed with the new series, Happy Endings. The show is hilarious and it makes me very, very happy that the sitcom is coming back.  I highly recommend. During my watching of the show, I realized I was obsessing about Elisha Cuthbert’s character’s wardrobe. Loved everything the girl had on on. So I did [...]

Read the full article →

Seriously want to punch.

January 30, 2012

This is gross skinny.  And I like skinny.  I want to lose enough weight that people start talking about me behind my back.  But this bitch looks terrible.  I also have a sneaking suspicion that she is just not nice.  Maybe borderline evil. For real.  She is now #1 on my hate list. #1-Angelina Jolie [...]

Read the full article →

I didn’t watch, but I’m judging anyway. The Golden Globes.

January 19, 2012

I didn’t watch the Golden Globes.  But I have looked at all the pretty pictures and have come to the following conclusions. I hate these two idiots.  A lot.  Hate: She bugs the shit out of me too.  Always has: I’m sorry, but Kim Richards DOES NOT need to be out in public just yet, much [...]

Read the full article →